Random Thoughts and Advice on Birth Control and Pregnancy

As I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came across this article 30 Pregnant Women Reveal The Rudest Thing Someone Has Said About Their Pregnancy and decided to write a few things that has happened to me, also, my sister who is 2 years older than me is pregnant with her very first child. I cannot wait for her to be big enough so she gets told things and calls me to complain. I love her and cannot wait for the bitchy-ness!!

I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ve had some really bad advice from people who assumed that I was, because I can’t lose the belly weight that I some how managed to get.

When I was 19, the mother of my then boyfriend, told him behind my back that I shouldn’t have a daughter. That I must have a boy and then proceeded to explain to him how to get a boy with me. All because she had 3 boys of her own and disliked girls, which later we found out why and it’s the most stupidest thing I have ever heard – unfortunately I am unable to explain why.

This wasn’t the only thing he was told.

She told him that if it was a girl or if I even get pregnant at all and I wasn’t with him, that I needed to abort the baby. This was when he and I were having complications with our relationship. Mind you, we were only 19 & 20, really young and of course every relationship at that age isn’t going to be perfect. So every time that we got together and talked about our future, he kept saying that if I ever got pregnant, that I needed to abort it.

So furiously, I told him to fuck off and he had no idea what he was talking about, that it wasn’t fair that he was doing that to me. That he didn’t need to treat me that way and that his mother had no right to control our relationship, then we didn’t need to be together. I never let him have a word and I ended the relationship right there.

Months later he came to me and told me that he talked to his best friend about what happened between us and apologized to me. We tried dating again and then watched his best friend go through hell with finding out the girl he was with was raped and pregnant and she aborted it because she didn’t want to wait to find out if it was his or the rapist. It was a sad time for the friend and I felt awful that I could’t help out.

The guy that I was with at that time, was with me on and off until 2008. It was about April and we talked about having a baby, but then he skipped out on me and I never heard from him for two months. That June, weeks before my birthday, I got into a physical fight with my stepmother, one that she started. She slammed me into the wall a few times, I fought back and then left to a shelter. I was only 22 and scared out of my mind. The police went to go investigate, but I’m sure that they lied because the police never came to me to talk to me about it.

So I ran. I ran to a city 45 minutes from my home town. And that whole summer I bled non stop and should have been dead. Because I had no insurance, I never went to the ER to find out if I had a miscarriage and from that year until April of this year, I have bled like I was going to die, every time I had a period.

From 2015 until April of this year, my periods were coming every two weeks, still bleeding like I was going to die and finally had enough of it. I went to the Doctors (cause now I have insurance) and demanded to know what was wrong with me. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, so they put me on the Mirena – even though it’s only for women who have had children already. If it wasn’t for them to put me on it, I would have probably been dead by now from all the blood loss.

Sure I could have gone back on the pills, but I forget to take pills and the ones that I have been on, made me crazier than I already am. The Orthra Evra patch was good for me when I was 18, but now with onset adult allergies, the adhesive makes me itch. The Depo shot was a no no and my Doctor wasn’t crazy enough to put me on it. I don’t have the guts to get my arm injected and then cut open for that sort of birth control so the Mirena was my last hope.

My GOD did it hurt to be forced open!! The Mirena didn’t sit the first time around, so they had to stick in another and by the time they were finished and I got up to leave, dizziness took over and I threw up everywhere. I forgot to breathe! Luckily a nurse was kind enough to drive me home and I slept the rest of the day. It took a month and a half for my body to adjust to this foreign object, but it is good that I am on it. I still have periods, but they are light and not life threatening.

The boy that I had fallen in love with, who broke my heart more than once had no idea that I was on the Mirena, up until two months ago. He had visited me to catch me up on something important and check up on me like he usually does, once every six months since we had broken up for good. And the silence that filled the room when I told him that I am on the Mirena, made things a bit awkward for him, but it was all good for me.

I don’t need a man that will come and go when he pleases. I don’t need a man who acts like a little boy. And I am stronger without him. I also do not need a mother-in-law who is against me having little girls and wanting to control him and any children in his future.

I am better than that!

And so are all of you!

Before I end this topic, I would like to inform everyone that not all birth control is good for you. Do some extensive research, ask people what their stories are, talk to your doctor and get second opinions from other doctors. If you have a boyfriend like the one I had, second guess him when it comes to marriage and children. If he’s flaky, move on. You do NOT need that in your life.

And boys, be careful. There are girls out there who want nothing but a baby from you. I’ve seen so many guys become Sex Offenders and/or forced to be fathers when they are not ready/wanting to be. This is why Condoms and birth control are necessary, especially at a young age.

On the flip side, the reason why I bring up the forced fathers is because of what a girl I once was friends with did to two guys, who were only 16 & 17. She was 21 and she should have been in jail. But she didn’t and she isn’t a register sex offender either – because society doesn’t see young boys being seduced by an older woman a problem. The 17 year old is now 26 and he hardly gets to see his daughter because of her messed up decisions – and yes, she still has the child.

I pray that she will see what she has done and asks God for forgiveness and hopefully one day ask the father for forgiveness. I also hope that she will put away her differences with me and allow me to be around my goddaughter. Until then, may God have mercy on her.

If you have any stories/advice/opinions you would like to share, put a comment down below. Please refrain from sexiest, religious, political and racist remarks. Constructive conversation is allowed!!



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